We all do it. When something doesn’t go right or we feel like our current situation is too much to handle, most of us tend to blame ourselves. All that self-deprecation builds up and eventually affects both our emotional state of mind along with our physical well-being adversely. You know what the crazy thing is about all this? Most of the shit that we’re constantly beating ourselves up about is totally out of our control!
Think about it for a while. What good does hating/blaming ourselves do about these problems? It doesn’t change anything. It doesn’t make things any better. In fact, I’d say it actually makes the situations harder to deal with. Sometimes, we just need to take a deep breath and remind ourselves that not everything bad that happens in our lives is our fault. I myself am guilty of beating myself up far more than I’d like to admit.
So, what can we do when we feel those negative thoughts creeping up on us reminding us of all the crappy stuff? We can take a deep breath, step back from the situation and just be good to ourselves for a few hours until we’re in a better mindset to deal with the current problems bothering us. I have a few suggestions on how to do this, and also a few things that help me personally. Obviously, these won’t work for everyone but I hope that at least some of these will help you.
- Make a ‘feel good’ playlist.
This has helped me so much. When I start feeling yourself get down and out about all those problems, the first thing I do is plug my phone into my water speakers, select my ‘feel good’ playlist on my phone and have a good singalong (or even a crazy dance!). It honestly is amazing how much music can make you feel so much better. Make sure you only put happy/upbeat songs in the playlist, otherwise it defeats the point of ‘feel good’. I’ll make a post in the future featuring some songs from my ‘feel good’ playlist.
- Tidy your room/house/desk area.
Something that helps me when I’m feeling like my life is out of control or my problems are too hard to fix is tidying and organizing my room. It helps because it’s something I can control and it also takes my mind off my problems. Also, playing my feel good playlist whilst cleaning up makes the chore much more fun! Doing all this helps me feel like I’m being more productive with my time. Because, let’s face it, sitting ’round wallowing in self-pity is the least productive thing in the world.
- Go for a walk/run.
Getting some fresh air is good for so many reasons, but it also gives you time to think and gain perspective on the things that are bothering you. Maybe you’ll even come up with solutions to them whilst getting some exercise as well. Breathe in that fresh air and breathe out all your worrying.
- Take a bubble bath.
Admit it, no one hates bubble baths. They’re relaxing, fun and an easy mood-booster. Add a little Lavender for extra relaxation. Just light some scented candles, lie back and relax.
- Make yourself a warm drink.
So, after that bath, wrap yourself in a robe and some fluffy socks. Then, head to the kitchen and grab your favourite mug and make yourself a warm drink. Personally, I prefer some Chamomile + Honey tea because it’s yummy and super relaxing.
- Watch a funny movie/TV show.
You’re nice and cosy in your robe/blanket with your hot drink? Good. Next, boot up your laptop/iPad/DVD player and pick a funny/feel-good movie or TV show to watch. Or even watch some stand-up comedy. My favourite comedians are Russell Howard and Michael McIntyre. My happy TV show is Parks and Recreation and movies with Jim Carrey never fail to make me laugh.
- If all else fails? Sleep.
Oftentimes, I find that when I’m having a horrible night, if I go to bed early I usually wake up in the morning feeling a lot calmer, more logical and able to deal with whatever problems caused my low mood the night before.
So, those are just some ideas on how to look after yourself when you’re having a bad day/night and everything seems too much. Never feel ashamed for taking a duvet day or for being good to yourself. From a young age, it’s drilled into us that we need to be nice to others. We should also be taught the importance of being nice to ourselves.
Obviously these tips won’t solve our problems, but they will help us to relax and forget about them for a while. Not all problems can be sorted overnight, and some are completely out of your control. What’s important, is how we deal with those problems. That’s what makes us stronger in the long run.
Until next time. Be kind to yourself.